1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,202 [baby crying] 2 00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:05,237 Aw! Shh. 3 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:08,173 Eric, don't. Don't. 4 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,943 Don't cry. Daddy's here. 5 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,478 Look at this face. 6 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,613 Look at this funny face. 7 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:25,924 A Roseanne Barr impression's only gonna anger him more. 8 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,963 I'm not impersonating Roseanne Barr. 9 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:32,631 Dom DeLuise. 10 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,401 I'm not impersonating anyone. 11 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,404 I'm trying to get Eric to stop crying. 12 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,073 Have you tried leaving the room? 13 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,242 Ha! Lighten up, Willie, huh? 14 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,611 Borrow a sense of humor, man. 15 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,914 I'm not in the mood right now, okay? 16 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,249 You want me to get him to stop? 17 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,619 No, no. Sometimes babies need to cry. 18 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:57,656 They just need to exercise their lungs. 19 00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:01,226 Oh, why, that's fascinating. 20 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,228 [baby cries loudly] 21 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,997 Quiet! 22 00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:06,165 [baby laughs] 23 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,699 It's all in the delivery. 24 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,002 If you need me, I'll be in the fridge. 25 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,672 [theme music] 26 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:20,806 So you played Tevye's wife in "Fiddler On The Roof." 27 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,142 Well, if those aren't babysitting credentials 28 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,177 I don't know what are. 29 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,913 Thank you. 30 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,314 [sighs] 31 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,550 I can't stand it when they cry. 32 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,352 Could you make it stop? 33 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,255 [chuckles] 34 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,423 - My husband's with him. - Okay. 35 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,159 Well, I think I know everything I need to know. 36 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,294 Thank you so much for coming by. 37 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:46,331 Oh, if it's the crying thing, I can wear my Walkman. 38 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,568 Goodbye. 39 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,404 And hope you get that part on "Munsters" today. 40 00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,177 [sighs] 41 00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,378 [baby crying] 42 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,646 What's for dinner? 43 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:03,715 Oh, ALF, you just had lunch. 44 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,285 Your dinners highlight my day, Kate. 45 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,954 But then again, I have no life. 46 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,193 - Any luck? - No. 47 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,662 You know what I'd love to have for dinner tonight? 48 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:17,963 I guess I'm just gonna have to tell my boss 49 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,565 that I can't show any more houses 50 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,934 until we get a babysitter. 51 00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,869 Pork chops. 52 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,639 Don't worry, we'll find somebody. 53 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,508 Maybe a nice ham. 54 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,277 You think we're offering too little? 55 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:36,148 Maybe we should be paying more than $6.00 an hour. 56 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,383 Hey, hold it! Flag on the play. 57 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,419 You're paying these people? 58 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,954 I'll do it. 59 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,425 Did you call all the college papers.. 60 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,060 - Of course. - And every college-- 61 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,928 Perhaps you didn't hear me. 62 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,264 Thus, I'll say it again. 63 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,600 I'll baby-sit. 64 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,301 Uh.. No, I don't think so, ALF. 65 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:59,438 It's nothing personal, it's just.. 66 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,840 Well, I guess it is personal. 67 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,376 Call us crazy, ALF. 68 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,777 Uh, we just feel that 69 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,512 we should have a human babysitter 70 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:11,250 what with Eric being human and all. 71 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,618 Oh, I see. 72 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,653 And have you thought about what happens to me 73 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,822 while that human babysitter 74 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:19,124 rummages through my fridge? 75 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,159 What do you mean, "your fridge?" 76 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,028 Okay, it's your fridge. 77 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,864 But the fuzz in the meat drawer is mine. 78 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,601 When the babysitter's here 79 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,370 you're gonna have to be in the attic. 80 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,971 Oh, great, prison. 81 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:36,475 Why don't you just stick me in a sweatbox? 82 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,043 We're all making adjustments, ALF. 83 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:40,646 You're not gonna be up there all that much. 84 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,515 Attica! Attica! Attica! 85 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,017 ALF, cut the dramatics. 86 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,653 I'm just gonna be working part-time. 87 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,689 But I've got an instinctive rapport with kids. 88 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,792 It's a gift that all Melmacians share. 89 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,527 That and the ability to suck milk 90 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,096 through our noses. 91 00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:02,200 My...you are blessed, aren't you? 92 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,236 As passionate as your argument sounds, ALF 93 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,605 the answer's still no. 94 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,007 But why? Why? 95 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,375 Why? 96 00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:13,312 Because you're irresponsible. 97 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,579 You trash the house. 98 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,714 You flooded the living room. 99 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,449 You wallpapered the shower. 100 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,985 It was a rhetorical question. 101 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,621 [instrumental music] 102 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,224 Okay. 103 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:29,127 Aw, there you go. 104 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,396 There you go. 105 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:33,298 There you go. 106 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,701 Aw, there's nothing more beautiful 107 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,035 than the sight of a mother 108 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,638 holding her freshly-swaddled babe 109 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,872 to her bosom. 110 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,375 Leave my bosom out of this, ALF. 111 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,910 You're not babysitting Eric. 112 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:47,179 - Any luck? - No. 113 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,748 No, I've, I've draped him over my shoulder 114 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,383 I've laid him across my lap 115 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,551 I've bounced him. 116 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,920 Eric just doesn't want to burp. 117 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,723 Hey, mind if I show you a trick? 118 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,591 The last time you showed me a trick 119 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,126 it took three weeks for my eyebrows 120 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,295 to grow back. 121 00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:06,264 I told you not to lean in. 122 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,935 Come on, now. At no time will the baby leave my hands. 123 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,937 Spot him, Lynn. 124 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,640 Hey, Eric, how you doing? 125 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:18,677 Having a little gassy backup today? 126 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,011 [baby burps] 127 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,346 Huzza, huzza. 128 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:24,416 Who was that masked man? 129 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,550 Next case. 130 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,819 Whoo-hoo! Broccoli. 131 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,488 So, did I prove my point? 132 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,124 That could have been a coincidence. 133 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,225 So when do I start? 134 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,460 By the way, Thursdays are bad for me. 135 00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:37,562 I do tai chi. 136 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,431 Granted, ALF, you give good burp 137 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,665 but that doesn't qualify you 138 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,634 to take care of an infant. 139 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,102 Kate, it can't be any different 140 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,772 than taking care of my younger brother and sister. 141 00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,608 And they had 16 stomachs between them 142 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,243 and one bathroom. 143 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,211 Think about it. 144 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,848 [instrumental music] 145 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:03,188 Oh, ALF would you heat the baby's formula for me? 146 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,457 What do you need formula for, Kate? 147 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,925 Tapped out? 148 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,394 Never mind, I'll do it. 149 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,430 And thanks for not being petty about this, ALF. 150 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,365 Oh, now I'm being petty. 151 00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:16,134 I'm petty and irresponsible. 152 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,737 You know, in time, this could become annoying. 153 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:22,340 Now I'm petty, irresponsible, and annoying. 154 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,377 The mud is being slung today. 155 00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:27,279 [telephone rings] 156 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,752 Hello. Oh, hello, Mr. Donovan. 157 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,822 Oh, the property on Waverly place right now? 158 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,256 Oh, uh, well, gee. 159 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,560 This is not really a convenient time for.. 160 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,895 Oh, that's pretty heavy wording there, sir. 161 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,265 But I-I don't see how I could possibly.. 162 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,067 Oh, there you go again. 163 00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,937 Well, no, no. Of course I don't want to lose a sale 164 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,306 when it's this close, it's just that.. 165 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,710 Tell him I'll be there in 15 minutes. 166 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,245 I'd ask you what you're gonna do 167 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,914 but that would be petty, annoying, and irresponsible. 168 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,617 Not to mention nosy. 169 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,986 Don't be smug. I'll call Mrs. Ochmonek. 170 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,055 [imitates buzzer] Wrong answer. 171 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:13,358 Oh, I'm sorry. That was annoying, wasn't it? 172 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,160 They're on vacation. 173 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,964 Um.. Alright, I'll call Mrs. Carlson. 174 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:22,601 The woman who stands on corners and yells at buses? 175 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,669 A wise choice. 176 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,973 Right, right. 177 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,443 Uh, there's Mrs. Applebaum. 178 00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:32,811 Don't you remember? 179 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:37,449 She's out becoming Mr. Applebaum. 180 00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:40,051 Oh, that's right. I forgot to send flowers. 181 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:43,021 Too late for that. Send her some aftershave. 182 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,557 Oh, I can't get a hold of Lynnie. 183 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,459 She's still in school. Um.. 184 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:48,927 I'm here. 185 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,264 Oh, alright, ALF. Will.. 186 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,665 Will you baby-sit Eric? 187 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,267 No, I'm busy. 188 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:58,069 Of course I will, you silly ninny. 189 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,471 Ha ha! 190 00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:00,705 ALF, listen 191 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,773 all the important telephone numbers 192 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,108 are right there by the phone. 193 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,242 No! 194 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:08,246 I will be back in 45 minutes, alright? 195 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,248 In 40 minutes. 196 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,384 Give Eric his formula when it's warm. Can you do that? 197 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,619 Kate, don't worry. Go. 198 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:15,987 Do the American thing 199 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,257 and put your career ahead of your family. 200 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,192 Okay, okay, I'm not a bad mother. 201 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,694 I love my child. 202 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,029 I love my child. 203 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:27,732 ALF, I will be back in 25 minutes. 204 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,037 In 20 minutes. 205 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,339 Heh. 206 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,343 (woman on TV) 'Charles, where are you?' 207 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,245 'Can you give me a hand in the kitchen?' 208 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,315 (Charles) 'In a second. I've got a couple of girls to look after.' 209 00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:45,917 (woman on TV) 'Don't you mean women, Charles?' 210 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,821 Whoo-ho! Pfft! You low bro. 211 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,657 [baby crying] 212 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,526 Oh, great timing. 213 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,496 I'm coming. I'm coming. 214 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:02,200 Lets got bail. He's the next Tony Denzel. 215 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,638 [crying] 216 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,173 Hey, hey, hey! 217 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:11,042 What's the matter, little guy? 218 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,143 [sniffs] 219 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,078 Whoa! 220 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,347 Sorry, Los Angeles. 221 00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:17,349 Phew! 222 00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:19,351 Alright, I might be a little rusty. 223 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,219 First the easy part. 224 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,224 [crying continues] 225 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,463 Whoa! Number two with a bullet. 226 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:36,701 Alright, let me just swab the deck, okay? 227 00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:38,303 The old swabber. 228 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,571 [baby laughs] 229 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,839 There you go. 230 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,240 Yeah, yeah. 231 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,143 Now a, a little powder under your tush. 232 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,547 [coughs] 233 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,349 Alright, here we go. 234 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,453 [baby coughing] 235 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:59,557 A little powder under my tush. 236 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,126 Yeah. 237 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:06,831 Okay, now, a nice, clean diapie. 238 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,635 [baby coos] 239 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:13,505 Try to keep it that way. 240 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,640 [baby sneezes] 241 00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,108 You know, this isn't so bad. 242 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,977 'I know I feel better.' 243 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,014 Yeah, you're a happy guy, aren't you? 244 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,817 [baby laughs] Yes, okay. 245 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,786 You amuse yourself 246 00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:31,022 while I bury this bomb. 247 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,560 Clear the area. 248 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,129 Coming through. Watch your back. 249 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,833 I can't believe you forgot your mitt. 250 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,569 They never play me anyway. 251 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,337 Here, catch. 252 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,374 Better. 253 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,510 I'm gonna go get Eric. 254 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,012 ALF! 255 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,851 ALF! 256 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,486 Hm! I can't find ALF. 257 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,822 He's probably somewhere out back. 258 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,923 Hey, sweetie. 259 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,725 Oh! You want out? You want out? 260 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,160 [baby cooing] 261 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,531 Brian, tell ALF that mom called 262 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,899 and asked me to get Eric. 263 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,470 And you might want to take the price tag off the mitt. 264 00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:19,738 And hurry. 265 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,139 Yes, your heinie. 266 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,341 (Lynn) 'I heard that.' 267 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,909 [car horn honks] 268 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,711 ALF, we took the baby! 269 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:27,946 [honk] 270 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,148 I'm coming. I'm coming. 271 00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,785 [car engine starts] 272 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:37,689 Well, that should take care of the pesky gophers. 273 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,759 Eric, I'm back! 274 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,461 Did you have time to reload? 275 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,497 Eric? 276 00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:46,898 Eric! 277 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:47,899 Eric! 278 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,033 Eric! 279 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,569 Oh, he's gone! 280 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,837 What have I done? 281 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,105 Eric! 282 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,943 Well, so much for keeping my powder dry. 283 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,546 Eric! 284 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,253 (ALF) Okay, operator, then how about this? 285 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:11,990 The baby got zapped into a parallel universe! 286 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,225 I've seen it happen. 287 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:17,629 A crank? Do I sound like a crank, huh? 288 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:18,863 [door rattles] 289 00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:19,931 Uh-oh, that must be Willie. 290 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,066 I'll call you right back. 291 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,070 Hi, ALF. 292 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,605 Oh, hi, Willie. 293 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:30,575 I didn't see you come in. How was your day? 294 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,610 Mm. Don't ask. 295 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,079 I won't if you won't. 296 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,148 Oh, right. What've you done? 297 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,251 And what's it going to cost me? 298 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,754 Well, you see, Willie, that's the beauty of it. 299 00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:46,891 In the long-run, it's gonna save you money. 300 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,726 Oh. 301 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:51,095 You mean you did do something? 302 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:54,032 I may have. I don't know. 303 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,467 That's where you come in. 304 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,804 Where's Kate? I want her to tell me. 305 00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,039 She doesn't know yet. 306 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,240 She jumped off the mommy track 307 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,375 and went to show some property. 308 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,011 Well, who did she leave the baby with? 309 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,379 Me. 310 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,215 Oh.. 311 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,650 So, you wanna split a fifth? 312 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,521 What I want is to.. 313 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,889 ...check on Eric. 314 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,157 Fine. Go ahead. 315 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,293 But whatever you do, don't go in the kitchen. 316 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,062 [hisses] 317 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:36,040 Eric! Eric, you get back in this dimension 318 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,809 right now, buster! 319 00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:40,211 I mean it. Where are you? 320 00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,064 This kitchen's fine. 321 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,601 Now I am scared. 322 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,106 (ALF) Eric! Eric, are you up here? 323 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:11,209 Eric, this isn't funny anymore. 324 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,811 Uh.. 325 00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:14,979 ALF! 326 00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:17,282 Oh, hi, Willie. 327 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,884 Whatever you do, don't go to the Chrysler Building 328 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,120 in New York. 329 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,355 What are you doing in the chimney? 330 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,357 (ALF) Well, it has nothing to do with Eric 331 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,226 if that's what you're getting at. 332 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:36,200 Willie! Willie! Can you get me out of here? 333 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,876 (ALF) 'Willie?' 334 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:46,978 Where is he? 335 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,546 So you don't see him either? 336 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:52,617 Good. We're finally getting somewhere. 337 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,018 ALF! 338 00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,753 I don't know, Willie! 339 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,689 He disappeared! 340 00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,058 Disappeared? What are you talking about? 341 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,826 I don't know what I'm talking about! 342 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,295 That's what I'm talking about. 343 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,230 Did you check the house? 344 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,933 Eric! Eric, it's dad. 345 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,835 I looked everywhere, Willie. 346 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,270 I'm sorry! 347 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,972 I'm sorry! 348 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,174 I just wanted to do good. 349 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,810 I just wanted to make $6.00. 350 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:24,782 Alright, let's take this one step at a time. 351 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,485 When was the last time you saw him? 352 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,287 When I changed his diaper. 353 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,289 I took it outside to bury it. 354 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,525 When I came back, he was gone. 355 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:38,229 Is it possible you took him with you? 356 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,931 Well, it was a pretty heavy diaper. 357 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:43,201 But...no. Could I? 358 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,238 Oh, Lord. 359 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,675 Eric! 360 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,010 Eric! 361 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,277 Oh, ALF, give up. 362 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,280 He's obviously not out here. 363 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,483 This is not happening to me. 364 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:02,553 There's got to be some logical explanation. 365 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:03,821 Maybe.. 366 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,224 ...a dingo took your baby. 367 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,626 It happened to Meryl Streep. 368 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,496 Maybe he was crying, right? 369 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,599 And you picked up and walked him around to settle him 370 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:18,603 put him down somewhere and don't remember where. 371 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:21,339 Willie, you're grasping at straws. 372 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,842 I'm calling the police. 373 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,244 I'm sorry. 374 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,113 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 375 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,482 Would it help if I apologize? 376 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,786 Eric! 377 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,991 Operator, could you get me 911 quick? 378 00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:43,361 Oh, of course I realize I could've dialed that myself. 379 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,864 So you can dial it for me. 380 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:50,835 Which way do you think will be faster? 381 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,004 Please take control. 382 00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:55,139 Oh, thank you. 383 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,408 And you. 384 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,143 Did they find him? 385 00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:01,245 Uh, I'm on hold. 386 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,314 Oh, what's gonna happen to me? 387 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,183 I'll probably get the chair. 388 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,051 I don't want to die, Willie. 389 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,287 But mostly, I don't like pain. 390 00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,156 Hello, 911 391 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,025 I want to report a missing baby. 392 00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,426 You've got to find him, please. 393 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,195 H-he's only six months old. 394 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,463 He's out there. He's all alone. 395 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,765 He's scared. He's vulnera.. 396 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,036 Can I call you right back? 397 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:27,004 Uh-oh. 398 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,906 Stay put. 399 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,541 Hi, honey. 400 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,310 Who was that on the phone? 401 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,981 I have something very serious to tell you, Kate. 402 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,216 Whatever you do, Kate 403 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,817 don't go to the Chrysler Building 404 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,720 in New York. 405 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,523 What has he done, and how much is it going to cost us? 406 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,530 I don't know how to say this. 407 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,933 Willie, what.. Is it my mother? 408 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,902 We should be so lucky. 409 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,772 Sit down. 410 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,711 I can't find Eric. He's missing. I've looked everywhere. 411 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,747 Oh, honey, Eric is with us. 412 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,349 [door opens] 413 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,617 Hi. 414 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:13,851 Eric! 415 00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:16,787 Oh! 416 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:17,955 Eric! 417 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,458 How come you never greet me like that? 418 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,693 Oh, Lynn. 419 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:26,597 Lynn, you wouldn't believe what happened here. 420 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,934 What did ALF do, and how much is it going to cost us? 421 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:33,804 We thought he lost our little Eric. 422 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:37,742 It would've cost him his life. 423 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,211 Isn't that the silliest thing? 424 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,313 [baby coos] 425 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:45,216 Look at this. ALF, he's safe. 426 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,819 He's safe, isn't that wonderful? 427 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,856 Hey, Eric, if I wasn't doing a good job 428 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,957 you should've told me 429 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:57,228 instead of hopping the first dingo out of here. 430 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,763 ALF, that isn't what happened. 431 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,398 I got a hold of Lynn after school 432 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,732 and asked her to take Eric with her 433 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,868 over to Brian's baseball game. 434 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,771 I told Brian to tell you. Didn't he? 435 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:10,908 Oh, yeah. Obviously he did, and it slipped my mind. 436 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:14,645 Oh, my gosh. What you guys must've gone through here. 437 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:18,683 Oh, well, I'm just grateful it's over. 438 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,485 Hey, why don't you tell her how you really feel, Willie? 439 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:24,589 Go ahead, give it to her good. 440 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,958 That is how I really feel. 441 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,161 Oh, then while that dust settles 442 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:33,097 I'd like to say something, Kate. 443 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,432 Okay. 444 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,801 Contrary to what you people must think 445 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,436 I have feelings. 446 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,472 I cried during terms of endearment. 447 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,774 Although I thought it was manipulative 448 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,611 it touched me just the same. 449 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:49,680 You also cried during "Caddyshack II." 450 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,849 But for different reasons. 451 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:54,485 Anyway, while you were out showing real estate 452 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,621 I dropped half my body fluid 453 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:59,790 not that it matters to you. 454 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,326 Well, I had no idea, ALF. 455 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,762 I mopped it up. 456 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,863 Thank you. 457 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,399 And here's the real coupe de ville 458 00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,268 you fired me without even giving me 459 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,737 the chance to prove myself. 460 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,038 And this was one of the few times 461 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,808 I didn't mess up. Way to trust. 462 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,910 I've been unfair to you, ALF. 463 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,579 Hey, I was doing a really good job 464 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,781 before you pulled the rug out. 465 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,750 Will you give us another chance? 466 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,985 Not for six bucks an hour 467 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,387 but we'll talk. 468 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,155 [baby coos] 469 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,560 [instrumental music] 470 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:39,030 [snoring] 471 00:21:39,032 --> 00:21:40,698 [baby cooing] 472 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:44,001 - Willie, what time does.. - Shh, Kate. 473 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,670 Look at this. 474 00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:50,608 Oh, it's so cute, honey. 475 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,076 (Willie) You think the day will ever come 476 00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:55,279 that he'll be able to walk out of here unafraid? 477 00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:57,848 Won't have to hide anymore? 478 00:21:57,850 --> 00:22:02,353 I hope so. It's what keeps me going. 479 00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:04,021 Come on, let's get your jammies on. 480 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:06,457 Let's get your jammies on. Daddy's going to come, too. 481 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:08,726 Yeah. Yeah. 482 00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,564 [yawns] 483 00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:15,599 Ah! Oh, sorry, Eric. 484 00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:18,402 I must've dozed off. 485 00:22:18,404 --> 00:22:20,071 Eric! 486 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:21,505 Eric! 487 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:24,275 Oh, no! Not again! 488 00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:26,877 What are the odds? 489 00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,646 Got to get that kid a beeper. 490 00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:32,249 [instrumental music] 491 00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:36,087 [theme music] 492 00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:03,814 [laughing]